When Prospects Give You The Silent Treatment



Posted: Tuesday, November 01, 2005

by Rodney Boettger

This article Used By Permission

If you’ve been selling fo
r a while, you’ve probably had at
least one experience in which your prospect suddenly started
giving you the “silent treatment."

Anthony described this dilemma very poignantly when he
called me a few weeks ago:

“Ari, I don’t know what to do when I get hit with the
‘silent treatment’ -- you know, when I’ve worked with a
prospect for quite a while, and we’ve had great
conversations, and they've expressed interest in our
solution -- and then all of a sudden everything stops. I try
calling them back once or twice. I even send a follow-up e-
mail, but nothing. They just disappear. And I figure I’ve
lost the sale, and I don’t know what I did wrong, or what to
do next. It makes selling feel like such a painful and
arduous process."

If this has happened to you, you may have felt anxious and
confused. You may have told yourself, “It’s not as if I’m
the one who did anything wrong. I put everything into the
relationship. How can I rescue the sale if I can’t even get
them to talk to me?"

The “Hopeium" Trap

There is a pressure-free way to reestablish communication
when your prospect starts giving you the “silent treatment."
But first, it’s important to understand why the situation
has happened in the first place.

Most of us who sell get caught up in “hopeium," a comical
term that means we focus our hopes and desires on making the
sale. But hopeium can be a trap, because it's impossible for
you to keep in mind your most important goal: to learn your
prospect’s truth.

When we fix our minds on the outcome -- making the sale --
we automatically begin anticipating how the process will go,
and we also begin expecting that things will happen as we
hope they will.

But if we’re in that mindset and our prospect suddenly
breaks off communication, we feel lost, anxious, frustrated,
discouraged, and confused. We become preoccupied with what
went wrong.

We may even feel betrayed.

Is there any way to clear up the mystery?

Yes, by giving up your agenda and learning the truth about
where you stand with your prospect --and being ok with
whatever the truth may be. “But how can I learn the truth
when they’re avoiding me?" you may ask. “And why do I need
to let go of the sale?"

Let’s take the second question first.

If you approach your prospect while you still hope the sale
will happen, you’ll introduce sales pressure into the
relationship. This will push your prospect away from you and
destroy any trust you have developed with them. Instead, you
can eliminate sales pressure by telling them that you’re
okay with their decision if they’ve decided not to move
forward.

In other words, you take a step back instead of trying to
chase and follow up with calls because you’re focused on
getting a “yes."

The bottom line is:

When a prospect gives you the “silent treatment," it doesn’t
mean you’ve lost the sale. It just means you don’t know the
truth yet.

What you need to do is call and learn the truth.

Why is learning the truth so important?

Here are 4 important reasons:

1. You stop losing confidence in your selling ability. The
“silent treatment" threatens our “hopeium." We start blaming
ourselves. We don’t know where we stand -- a painful state
of limbo. Our self-talk is negative and full of self-blame,
and we’re on pins and needles wondering whether the sale
will still come through somehow.

2. You increase your selling efficiency and decrease your
stress level. Once you learn the truth about your prospect’s
situation, you can either stay involved with the prospect or
move on. I often say, “A ‘no’ is almost as valuable as a
‘yes.’" Why? Because it frees up your time to find prospects
who are a better fit with your solution. This lets you work
much more efficiently because you can quickly weed out
prospects who aren’t going to buy. Knowing the prospect’s
truth lets you walk away without that guilt-laden voice
whispering, “If you give up, you don't have what it takes."

Learning your prospect’s truth translates into tangible
results that equal real dollars. You’ll also put an end to
the self-sabotaging stress that comes from living in “silent
treatment" limbo.

3. Sales pressure pushes prospects away. When you respond
to the “silent treatment" with calls and e-mails, you’re
really telling them that you’re determined to move the sales
process forward -- which means you’re looking out for your
needs, not theirs. This makes them mistrust you and run the
other way.

4. The “silent treatment" -- totally breaking off
communication -- is how prospects protect themselves from
sales pressure when they don’t feel comfortable telling us
their truth. The more we press, the more they run.

But the opposite is true, too. The more we relax and invite
the truth, the more straightforward they’ll be with us.
Prospects feel okay sharing what’s going on with them when
they know we’re okay with hearing it.

How to Reopen Communication

After Anthony and I had talked about some of these issues,
he said, “This all makes a lot of sense, Ari, but I’m still
not sure what to say when I make that call."

It’s simpler than you might think.

* First, simply give your prospect a call. (E-mail and
voicemail are very impersonal, so use them only as last
resorts if you can't reach your prospect after several phone
calls.)

* Second, take responsibility and apologize for having
caused the “silent treatment". Here’s some language I
suggested to Anthony that will make prospects feel safe
enough to open up and tell you the truth about their
situation:

“Hi, Jim, it’s Anthony. I just wanted, first of all, to call
and apologize that we ended up not being able to connect. I
feel like somewhere along the way maybe I dropped the ball,
or I didn’t give you the information you needed. I’m not
calling to move things forward because I’m assuming you’ve
probably gone ahead with someone else, and that’s perfectly
okay. I’m just checking to see if you may have some feedback
as to where I can improve for next time."

When you respond to the “silent treatment" this way, the
results will probably surprise you. You may even learn that
the prospect has legitimate reasons for not having gotten
back to you.

You’ll also find yourself more productive and less
frustrated. It’ll make a world of difference in your
productivity level, your stress level, your income, and how
much you enjoy what you’re doing.

Remember…

You haven’t lost the sale. You just don’t know the truth yet.

Ari Galper is the founder of Unlock The Game™,
http://www.UnlockingTheGame.com
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